Now

I remember you
against the pink of my bed
your eyes followed me
like the opposite 
of a sniper

no one had ever looked 
at me like that before

you were as pure as paper
but I was cynical
even then, with you eating me up 
with your eyes
I knew:

that the chemical of
lust and love
can change and become
a questioning of

‘why did you put you hand on his leg?’
or
‘your friend is coming between us.’



________________________

James

You are my ton of bricks, I can’t see anything but you.

I want to fold up inside you, safe beneath your skin.

Alone I’m on stand-by

Only you can resurrect me.

________________________

Exit

The worst part about
ignoring you
is that
you haven't even noticed.

I am that insignificant.

I must have fallen through
a crack in your brain
the day after
everything got fucked.

The second worst part
is I don't even like you
any more

and I used to.
I really did.

Next month I'll be gone.

_________________________

The Present

In the pink box
lies a hairslide in the
shape of a bug.

It is a glorious green.

It lives in the pink box.

You are mad at me,
because I've never worn it.
But if I wore it
the magic would wear off.

_____________

Peppy

The day they elected

A new leader for the free world

was the day you died.

I never did get to read the news that day.

I hadn’t spoken to him in a month

Then there he was,

Lighting up my phone at 7am.

No good can come

of calls that come that early.

He told me you couldn’t walk.

I said, ‘do you want me to come?’

Even though I was scared.

I was scared to see you.

That I wouldn’t be strong enough.

And he cried in reply.

He hadn’t cried on the day

I packed my things and left.

So I went to him.

When I got to his house

Obama’s speech played on my old TV

And you were lying on the bed,

purring

But I knew as well as he did

cats who can’t walk don’t live

I’ve never seen a cat in a wheelchair

Have you?

You hung on three days in the end

Fought the parasite in your head

But it won

On the last day,

You lay on your side

Like a goldfish flopped out from a bowl

You lay

They’d shaved patches from you

You were defeated, but loved

You had power still

In belonging to us

I was so happy we were with you

when you went.

You were the last link between he and I

The reason we still talked

Afterwards,

he went back alone to his flat

I went back alone to mine.

_______________________

Love

Counting

the dead

animals

that line

the motorway

edge

I miss you.

___________________