Wednesday, 19 November 2014

A written rap battle

You took my skeleton hand
down streets
where red and pink lights
had twinkled days before

Now naked buildings
shivered in the cold
but my hand was warm in
your gloved embrace.

Back in your room
you told me a story
of colours like ice,
nazi dictators
and a place where everyone could
read each other’s thoughts.

Then you looked at me,
and I knew.

You promised me tiles to build
a safe place to hide.
You showed me another way,
A way to be free like you.

Later,
In my dreams
we were covered in snow
Tiles painted with ravens
cracked like mirrors.

But when I woke
you were laughing

Everything around you
was pink
and orange

and I was yours.



Monday, 3 February 2014

Lunch

Before…
his pupils were massive
as he knelt between
my legs,
As we said
‘no we shouldn’t’
but of course, we did.

Afterwards,
he looked like
he’d just been told
someone had died.
He looked like a victim.

Or was that me? 


Friday, 25 January 2013

Back to the old house

I am transported there
My heart and head
Is where my home is
Nothing has changed, everything has changed.
The shops shrunken and shabby and stuck
I have moved on but they remained forever
The kids on the street meaner, nastier, stupider
Or am I just getting older?
And those words
That spelt the name of the street
That I lived in for eighteen years
Once as important as my own name
Now unfamiliar.
I walk walk walked
Past the dead end alley
And the berries crushed

into the ground like brains
As a child
I tried to avoid them
But now
The street is a photograph
And I am a giant
So I step and step and step.
Finally I reach you
My heart, my mother, my father,
My brothers and lost best friends.
Home.
It could have been then
The cat skitters by
Crying, left behind.
It feels like you were my lover.
Behind my doors and windows
A new family lived
The plaque, ‘Roseland’, prised from the wall
I see me within you
Ghosts
My dad throwing my mum out of the door
My brother punching a hole in the wall
I lost my first tooth
My glasses, my braces
My virginity
And my mother between these walls.
Inside
We were still inside
The five of us inside
The golden lion knocker on the door
I remember a time
When I wasn’t allowed to cross this road
Was I ever that small?




_______________

Wednesday, 12 December 2012

Threesome


You should listen to your cat

when you get home tonight

as it follows you

to the kitchen

as it followed us

up the stairs.

It will watch you squeeze out

food from a pouch

Impassive.

Like it watched us

fuck on your bed

Impassive.

Your cat keeps my secret.

Afterwards

I used your perfume

your brush and

your shower.

I stroked your cat and he purred.

I want that cat to

tell you

what it knows.

I will make it talk.

Tuesday, 27 November 2012

Verdana


Nights we spent spewing words

Trying to impress

You were my Verdana

before we even met.


 

Wednesday, 24 October 2012

Studio


My new life
without you
makes me wonder
what the old life was for?
why I hung around
in the face of such wrongness
when it was so easy to leave
it took a month
in the end
and I was gone.
I don’t think of you now
but if I stay up all night
sometimes it hurts
not because I miss you
but because 
yet another 
bit of my life
is done.


Sunday, 30 September 2012

Barking


I didn’t realise how many words
There were for crazy
Until you went there.

Loco, nuts, bonkers, mad
They all sound like a joke 
but what you did was

Horror
not comedy.

I thought of asking your sister
to take you the new
Bright Eyes CD
But god knows if you still like them
or who you are right now.

Is your real self; your real mind
hiding somewhere?

Can we unearth you?

It feels like you’re dead.

Instead
you’re just out to lunch.