Fraud

I woke up to the same old dreams
Old wallets and Polaroid cameras
Old boyfriends and family members
Cats, dogs, lizards, hamsters
Fires, floods, blizzards, cancer.

I wake up from the same old dreams
Different boyfriends
Same old me
Same old hobbies
Same old junk
Same old never reading a book
Let alone writing one.

The sum of my parts is just trash
The sum of my parts is just ash.

I wake up with the same old dreams
Broken goldfish bowls
Broken wings on owls
Broken into houses

Now
Then
What’s the difference?

Don’t give up on your daydream
Don’t give up on your night screams.

I wake up in the same old dreams
Souls of people I used to know
You’re dead but you’re here
You’re famous but you’re here
In my dreams we meet once, twice again
I know I’ll see you in a month,
Stroking a rat,
Riding a cat,
Becoming a doormat.

I know no one wants to hear about anyone’s dream,
Not you
Not me
Not anybody.

I’m sober, asleep
yet high again
Your pupils, my pupils,
We’re both high here
We all float down here.

My heart runs away
And I can’t catch it.

I can never quite catch it.

Like a mouse on a string
it slips out of reach
Like my teeth on the floor
Like my hair changes colour
Like my cats change shape and names.

Nothing is grabbable
Nothing is tangible.

In my dreams I’m high on blame
My brain is in a dish
On a train,
Thrown against a window pane.

Another lack of ideas
Another wasted year
But the dreams stay the same.





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