Prize

The inflatable flower

that you won for me

the night we met

still sits on the floor in the bedroom

filled with air from your lungs

How can that thin red plastic

hold you – even now

eight years on

and six months since

your breath ran out

forever.

Today I cracked

and finally pried

the stopper open

I sucked you up

and breathed for the both of us

Afterwards, the flower lay

crippled on the floor

and I wished I'd waited

another day, another month

another year.

________________

Horror film

On my knees

at your feet

with the light

from the camera

in my face

I felt wild.

Watching it back

felt like watching

childbirth

or a car crash.

_____________________

Untitled

This scrunched up

piece

of toilet paper

that I held in my

hand

so hard

as your eyes raged

black

Is all that is

left of me

It is the only

thing

of mine

still standing.

_______________________

Fantasy

goodbye

cheap chicken shops

with

smiling cartoon

birds

beckoning

us in

to feast on their

slit throats

and

bleached flesh.

goodbye

free papers

thrust into unwilling

hands

by purple and yellow

people

in baseball caps.

I won’t miss

circumnavigating them.

goodbye

escalators like teeth

hot dark tunnels

an armpit in my face

and the fear

of being pushed

or pushing

someone

to their death.

And

goodbye

your curls in the

bin

your brown eyes

and that smile

like a magnet

or honey

either way, a trap

and my hope that

this time

things would

be alright.

_______________________