Marks

Two little bruises

give you away

one on my right wrist

one on my left.

Imprints of your thumbs

as you held me

like I was the only thing

keeping you afloat.

Now just smudges,

like newspaper print

but the stain of you

lingers.

I touch them

to remind myself

for one moment

I was needed.

Now I watch them

yellow

into the pink of my skin

like leaves

rotten.

Death wish

Sometimes

I wish

I was terminally ill

so I could quit work

forever,

guilt-free.

We could sit

on the bed and

play board games

and you’d make my dinner

for me.

And when you weren’t here

I could read magazines,

write a diary

and watch trash TV.

And you’d have to be nice,

if you liked it or not

Whatever I said,

You’d agree.

____________________

Battery heart

I’m starting

to think

love songs are lies

love songs are

just

flush of lust songs.

No love song has

ever been written

ten years down the track.

Like a chicken

whose body grows

to becomes its own worst enemy:

the more you know of me

the more there is to

pull apart.

__________

TV times

Imagine

if you saw

all the bad times in your life

played out

in sequence,

like the highlights on

Big Brother.

Every time you’d let someone down

Every time you’d picked a fight

Every time you’d acted like a little brat

despite being a grown woman

to get your own way.

Would you vow to change

or just worry that

your hair looks a bit funny.

______________________

Tonight

 

Tonight

we’ll put cucumber hats

on our cucumber heads

and cucumber pads

over cucumber eyes

we’ll drink cucumber wine

and eat cucumber pie

under slices of light

we’ll get cucumber high

then all that we own

will turn green

and then white

and we’ll run through our dreams

into cucumber night.

_________________

Wait

Today our house

Our little nest

Filled with pain

Like water filling Thai houses

to the brim.

Our lungs and hearts filled up with

Hurt and hope lost.

We looked for escape

and saw only our possessions;

all the things that made us who we are

swamping us with their normality.

There was no way to float to safety.

So before you came,

I sat in the garden

in the wooden chair

The only chair that wasn’t wet

And waited to find out

If you still loved me.

And still there were things:

A reminder of the fireworks,

The barbecue covered and dry,

the summer that hadn’t yet come. 

______________

Love Story

What if

the best thing

about falling

in love

isn’t him;

how he looks

when you’re

inches apart,

or the things

he told you

whilst the

headlamps

outside

lit up the window

like fairy lights. 

What if

the best thing

about falling

in love

are your

stories,

that used

to be old

now

suddenly new;

the kids

you went

to school with,

what your parents

did wrong

and how

you didn’t

mean to

end up here,

It just

happened.

________________

Progress

eventually

all you’ll become

is an imprint

less material

than a pressed

flower

from a

bygone age.

there wont be

a love letter

or a

faded photograph

in your

legacy.

you will be

transient

as a

text message. 

___________________

These atoms will change shape

Tomorrow, or in ten years

or in fifty

I will seep back into the earth

As if I am sinking into a mattress.

The ground will be a cushion

for my bones.

My skin will fall away

Like a silk dressing gown

Dropping to the floor.

I will be skinny again

Skinnier than I’ve ever been

And it won’t take long,

This new diet:

It won’t take long at all.

It will be the ultimate detox

The most invigorating facial.

I will be a new woman.

And a thousand different kinds

of insect

will feast on me, and

carry me with them

They will cover me like canvas

I will be a part of them

I will feed the grass. 

______________________

Sex Swap

Girls aren’t

built like boys

we think too much

Like…

how it felt

when you touched me

And then after

you persuaded me

to do it, how

you moved your

chair away.

Girls aren’t

built like boys

but I am a robotic,

supersonic

kind of girl

with boy genes

hardwired

to my heart.

So I won’t think

of how you

looked before

and then after.

______________________